Moving On

It's my last night in Phoenix... Up at the crack of dawn tomorrow and on to the northern end of the Sonoran Desert - Kamloops, British Columbia. Today we took my mother-in-law to visit the care facility we are considering for her. We would like her to willingly make the choice...you know, "look kids, I'm 105 years old and I need to have someone looking out for me 24/7, for god's sake don't make me stay in this big old house by myself." Astonishingly, she has not made that pronouncement - not like sang froid's dad who elected to move and apparently has his wits about him.

She liked the facility and loved the lunch they gave us. She wondered aloud about all the "old" people floating around and imagined that if she ever got that old she might need to live in a place like that. Nope, she is not going to willingly volunteer to be moved.

We are not, my husband and I, very assertive with mom. So we are plotting how to convince her that "they" have made a ruling that she can't be on her own anymore. She tends to conform to the rules of "them" whoever they are. (E.G. "They" won't let her drive her car anymore. "They" have made a rule that you have to have tall trees in your yard. - she means the palm trees that have been growing in her neighborhood for 35 years, but every morning she goes out and marvels at the number of trees that have been planted over night by order of "them.")

Anyway, if "they" can convince her that legislation has been passed requiring her to live in a very nice assisted living complex, then all will be fine.

Hot, hot, hot in Phoenix

Record temperatures in the valley of the sun kept us hopping while we stayed at the Phoenician. Getting from the lounge chair to the pool required quick footwork over burning concrete. Even a poolside margarita and pitcher of ice water in the shade could only keep us outside in the 118 degree farenheit heat for about an hour.

Now, back in Tempe, I'm reading books (Ultramarathon Man - inspirational - particularly when he writes of running through Death Valley - I could relate...although my ten feet from the chaise to the pool is hardly 100 miles of running in what he describes as a "toaster"). Now I'm reading The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down. Awesome book that strikes despair into my heart as someone who works in the human services field with many cultures.

Other than the highly indulgent lying around with a good book, we've been doing the chores that magically (and routinely) await our arrival. The car needed work at the shop for a constantly flattened battery. Bugs in the house (scorpions!!!! according to the home care woman - I've seen none, and I've been vigilant) required pest control. A trip to the vet for Cotton. A two hour visit to the HMO for mom, where her Dr. is a scary eastern european chick who barks orders to our 88 year old mom - "stand up straight" and "eat properly!" Good thing Mom is profoundly deaf and has zero short term memory. Good thing I didn't acquiesce to the urge to hit Dr. Romania.

Of course Dr. Romania doesn't know that our mom is also much older than her birth certificate states. On any given day, mom might be "almost 100," or "exactly 100," or as was the case yesterday, "nearly 104." Fair enough, I say. At 88, she's earned the right to be as old or young as she wants. I hope she's not expecting a letter of congratulations from the governor or George W though.

A perfect level of dementia has left Mom profoundly happy. Every sentence in a conversation ends up with her laughing and laughing. Perhaps because no one has a clue what she's talking about. Least of all her. I'm glad for her, but worried for her. Although she has daily home support and Richard comes in once or twice a week when he's in town, it really is a short journey from here to the full residential care.

Friends at home

Paul... Smoking on the deck... 

I'm leaving to go to Phoenix tomorrow. There will be no deck time there. Too damn hot.

Larry resting after much grilling of salmon 

On the deck...Alana and Coco making her escape... 

Alana and Paul... quilt buddies. 

The 2006 Smithers Senior's Golf Champion.  

Sunset in Prince Rupert. Yeah, it's always like this. 

And the view out the other way. Where there are deer in the mornings. I can forget about every rainy day when I look out here. Praise be. 

And this also.  

This is the extraordinary view from my deck. It is so fabulous that I feel like a bit of a fraud posting it. It is so much better than it even appears in the pictures. This is my reward. I don't know what for, but it is a great gift.  

Eilish at Mariner's Park, PR, on Canada Day. Great weather, great community.